Winter, is it you or is it me?

I don't know. What's wrong with me. 

Since I was young, I've always been excited to go to Korea.

Twice a year, summer and winter.

I loved being in the busy city, 

meeting friends, 

going out, 

VIP areas in the clubs, 

seeing and meeting celebrities,

drinking,

and having fun.

Now I ask myself:

Why do I enjoy such unimportant things in life?

As usual for December, I've booked a plane ticket to Seoul again.

But why does it feel so wrong this time :-/

This time, I more have the feeling of wasting my time over there.

A compulsion inside me telling me I belong where my duties are.

And it's clearly NOT Korea.

I've probably got as many friends there as here.

Although I really have trust issues when it comes to Korean people

and don't really know whom to trust.

It's just so terrifying experiencing a total different mentality of some of my Korean friends.

It makes me sad to know that so many Korean people live a life calculating useless things,

movements of each other.

Somehow, I strongly believe that certain mentalities are so totally wrong and I don't want to

be surrounded by the negative energy. 

And I'm noticing it more and more.
I want to focus on meeting people that have a positive impact on me.
People who are NOT superficial, don't care about brands, money, looks.

It's fraught having to distrust people and not knowing whom to trust.

Maybe it's just better to live a quite life and focusing on myself.

Maybe this is just a phase? A winter phase maybe.